Inui's Love Consultation Office
by anek
Summary: With the Nationals approaching and everyone's hormones running wild... does Seigaku have a chance? But oh, leave it to Inui's brilliance! TxF, MxR, IxK, OxE


XD I just wanted to write something lighthearted after spending the entire day writing a rather angsty tenipri fic and almost crying half the time thinking of really sad scenes that I wasn't even able to put to writing _ and now I'm trying to cheer myself up @_@ so sorry if this fic is a bit random ^^;

Disclaimer: anek is poor @_@

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**Inui's Love Consultation Office**

by anek

Mission 1: The Case of the Broken Pot

"So... tell me again, under what circumstances did this happen?" Inui inquired, scribbling randomly on the open notebook he held on one hand.

The boy across him furrowed his brows as if trying hard to recall the earlier events

"Hmm... Tezuka and I were in the clubroom –"Fuji began, but he was interrupted by a low growl.

"That's enough Fuji."

Fuji raised a brow questioningly at Tezuka's stony expression.

"But I think Inui can solve the problem Tezuka. And after all, you were the one who was most troubled earlier about what happened."

"And whose fault do you think it was?" Tezuka's lips tightened dangerously, eyeing the light-haired tennis tensai with such unrelenting eyes that usually sent others scrambling away in fear.

But Fuji's grin only got wider.

"Aa... but it's not my fault Tezuka that you had such little self-control."

They engaged in a staring contest, Tezuka glaring while Fuji stared back with amused blue eyes. Inui cleared his throat.

"Please don't mind me, Tezuka. I specialize in data collecting and I'm confident that we can get the culprit given enough information," Inui stated, closing his notes and giving his rectangular-framed glasses a slight push, a conspicuous smirk curling on his lower lip. "Besides, you don't have to worry Tezuka, I have known what kind of relationship you two shared since first year..." he continued, glancing at a still-smiling Fuji, "so I don't see a problem here."

It was a long silence before Tezuka tightened his jaw and gave a slight almost invisible nod, although Fuji and Inui could easily tell that Tezuka wasn't the least bit pleased.

Inui opened his notes again.

"Saa, Fuji, please do continue."

Fuji held a finger as if he had just remembered something crucial.

"Yes, I was with Tezuka in the clubroom around 7 o'clock this morning," Fuji repeated.

"Why so early? As I recall, our Saturday practice today was not scheduled until 9," Inui interrupted, busily scribbling some notes.

Fuji smiled.

"Ah, that's because Tezuka is not allowed out of the house late these days and we wanted to—"

Tezuka cleared his throat.

"That is unnecessary information Fuji," he scowled, pulling the swivel chair behind Ryuzaki-sensei's desk, their coach was unable to attend their practice that day. With another scowl, he settled himself on the chair.

With a reluctant nod, Inui continued.

"So what were you two doing in the clubroom?"

Fuji gave it a thought before answering.

"We were kiss—"

A loud thud interrupted him yet again. He and Inui glanced at Tezuka who was glaring at them so menacingly that it wouldn't be surprising if Tezuka wanted to skin them alive.

"The book fell," Tezuka gritted out, crossing his arms and making no effort to pick up one of Ryuzaki-sensei's heavy tennis books on the floor. He made no effort to explain either, as if it was a common occurrence for such a heavy book to jump out of the table by itself.

Fuji suppressed an amused grin, and it took all his effort to maintain the feigned innocent smile he still wore. He hasn't had this much fun since he had beaten the crap out of Mizuki and Fuji was determined to enjoy every moment of Tezuka's discomfort.

Inui urged him to continue.

"Yes, as I was saying, we were kissing."

"...and?" Inui prodded.

"And touch—"

Another loud thud interrupted him, this time, he noticed Tezuka had risen out of the chair and had slammed the glass window close, forcefully enough that the iron bars slightly shook.

"The wind is getting cold," Tezuka muttered.

Inui opened his mouth to point out that it was just past noon and there was barely even a breeze present, but decided against it... they were already threading along a dangerously thin line and any further provocation would probably earn him a share of the later punishment that was to come. He smirked, let Fuji get the punishment... they're probably good at it anyway.

He cleared his throat again, pen readily poised above his notebook.

"And which part of the room did this happen, Fuji?"

"On the bench in front of Tezuka's locker," Fuji answered readily.

Tezuka fumed. He could tell Fuji was enjoying it... and so was Inui. He brought a hand to his temple. It really was surprising that after three years, his hair hasn't turned completely gray, and he was yet to suffer a nervous breakdown. He supposed he should be grateful for that... after all, Fuji Syusuke was never the easiest person to deal with.

Not at all.

"I see," Inui nodded thoughtfully, jotting something down. "And the tennis racket in question, where was it?"

Fuji didn't answer, but glanced at Tezuka who was sitting back on the swivel chair again.

Any hope Tezuka might have had that he could be spared from getting involved in the silly situation fled.

He frowned when Inui looked at him expectantly for an answer.

"On the doorway," he replied curtly.

"Leaning on the door you mean?" Inui tried to clear up.

"On the doorway," Tezuka repeated more firmly.

Inui paused. "But I don't really understand why you Tezuka, of all people, would leave a tennis racket carelessly lying on the doorway..." he trailed off, as if expecting further explanation.

Fuji brightened.

"That's because we were busy—"

Tezuka stood up abruptly that the chair was pushed back a few inches behind him.

"On the doorway," he repeated for the third time, more firmly than before. His narrowed eyes clearly told the other two that no additional information was needed. And he wasn't about to let Fuji tell why indeed the racket was left on the doorway. They barely even got through the door before starting to shed each other's clothes... let alone worry about a tennis racket. He shook off the images that flashed before his eyes as a reminder of their morning rendezvous. Damn Fuji. And Inui too.

At Inui's nod, he settled back on the chair.

"Did either of you notice any movement from the doorway?" Inui asked.

Fuji shook his head.

"No"

"Any strange sounds?"

At this Fuji nodded, smile still in place. "Yes, there was a loud crash and we stopped."

"Stopped what?" Inui dared to ask.

When Fuji opened his mouth to speak again, Tezuka interrupted.

"You don't need to know," he snapped, although he guessed that Inui knew very well what activity they had 'stopped' but enjoyed asking just the same.

"And did you know what the sound was?" Inui continued his interrogation.

"Not after we went out to investigate," Fuji replied.

"And what was it?"

"A broken pot."

"Pot?"

"One of the flower pots Ryuzaki-sensei keeps near the clubroom."

"I see, I see..." Inui busied himself scribbling some more notes. "And the tennis racket was gone?"

Fuji nodded.

After jotting down some more notes, Inui finally flapped the notebook close and stood.

"I think I'll go investigate in the clubroom then," he declared and walked out of the room.

Just as they heard the soft click of the doorknob, Tezuka stood.

"I told you it was not necessary, Fuji," he scowled.

Fuji smiled innocently.

"But it's your tennis racket, isn't it Tezuka? We are just trying to help you find it."

"I have other ones," he insisted.

"But that was your favorite racket. The nationals is coming and we need to play our best," Fuji reasoned.

Tezuka sat back on the chair, slightly calmed down by Fuji's reasoning. He hated to admit it, but Fuji was right... but still, he didn't feel comfortable telling someone about their private affairs.

"Besides..." Fuji continued, "the one who took the racket most likely saw us... wouldn't you like to know who it was? I just don't want you to worry about it."

Tezuka nodded. It did worry him a bit, and again, hating to admit it, but Fuji was right. His earlier sentiments and annoyance on Fuji was starting to evaporate... although if he had looked a little closer, he might have caught the small smirk on Fuji's lower lip.

There was indeed a broken pot. A single stem of pink rose lay limply on the pavement, almost dry and withered, and a portion of the pot's dark soil was scattered on the dry cement. Inui looked around for more clues, until he noticed a small part of grass just beside the pavement, flattened, and upon closer inspection, it resembled a handprint. Inui scanned the lawn farther, expecting to see a similar pattern, and he saw one a few inches away. Inui grinned, it was easier than he had expected.

Only a few inches below, he found a circular mark on the grass, and Inui deduced that it was most likely made by a bent knee. He scanned farther down... and true enough; he found what he had been expecting.

A couple shoe marks were visible on the ground.

Size: 7 inches, Brand: Puna, Color: most likely white.

Inue smirked. Case solved.

"Momo-senpai, let go," Ryoma demanded again.

"Be quiet Echizen! You'll wake Karupin up!" Momo hastily ordered.

Ryoma frowned.

"Karupin is not sleeping," he pointed out dryly.

Momo shook his head, holding the purring cat closer to his shirt and way from the freshman's reach.

"But Karupin wants to sleep soon, so be quiet!"

Momo took a few steps away from the glaring freshman, holding the cat more securely on his arm. From behind, Inui cleared his throat.

"Momo, I need to talk to you."

Momoshiro almost paled at Inui's expression with a sudden thought of dread. His insides began to twist and he felt as if he was about to drink a pitcher of Penal Tea. Against his protests, Inui successfully freed the cat from Momo's arm.

Inui grinned, his suspicions confirmed.

"Momo... what business did you have crawling in the grass so early this morning?" he stated, pointing at the dark dirt and green grass stains on Momo's shirt, which were previously hidden by Karupin.

"A-ah... I was... er... jogging and I ran into Karupin and well, I fell and I..."

"You don't have to deny it Momo. Please return Tezuka's racket," Inui interrupted, it was quite obvious that the younger boy was lying through his teeth.

"B-but I don't have it!" Momo denied hotly.

"It's alright Momo, so you witnessed something that you shouldn't have, but that wasn't your fault," Inui reassured.

Momo blushed. True, he had witnessed something that he shouldn't have, and he had been unable to erase the images from his mind ever since. How could he? Not when you suddenly see your poker-faced captain and a certain smiling tensai locked in a passionate embrace sharing a wet kiss while almost ripping each other's clothes apart... his jaw had almost dropped to the ground. Momo felt his face heating up again at the memory.

"The tennis racket Momo," Inui demanded.

"I don't have it!" Momo fervently shook his head.

Inui sighed.

"Then who has it?"

"Mamushi has it!" Momo snapped, taking Karupin back from Inui.

Inui blinked.

"Kaidoh was with you?"

"Yeah, he was jogging too and we were going to change in the clubroom... and then we saw... Buchou... and Fuji-senpai... and we... we just kinda panicked and well... we...knocked something off, I think... and somehow, Kaidoh grabbed the racket and we ran..." Momo stuttered, the image of Tezuka and Fuji flashing in his mind again, making his face redder than it already was.

But Inui's grin only grew wider... and his eyes glinted under his thick glasses.

"Kaidoh, eh?" he repeated.

Things were simply getting more and more interesting... Inui smirked.

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a/n: ^o^ Fuji and Inui are really scary, I think they're the scariest among the seigaku regulars, honestly XD

ah, anyway, next chapter: The case of the missing cat... and yes you guessed it! MomoRyo ^___^ and of course, Karupin is involved ;)

and what kind of evil plan is Inui planning now? er... one could only pray for Kaidoh's poor soul *nods*

thanks for reading ^^;

~anek


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